SPOILER!!

Hello Boys and Ghouls.. here is a "leaked" picture courtesy of forcesofgeek.com of what the new Freddy supposedly looks like in the forthcoming remake of Nightmare on Elm St.
I am personally not a fan, but.. I dunno, i'll still give it the benefit of the doubt. I did enjoy this man as Rorschach. What are your opinions?

Last House, Good Call

I saw the original "Last house on the Left" in college over spring break with some great friends. It was fantastic. How my friend and I (who are MAJOR horror fanatics) convinced regular people to watch this film at a beach house I'm not sure.

I was nervous about seeing the remake because (we all know how i feel about remakes) of the fear of a classic being destroyed in my memory. This film was ANYTHING but destroyed. It was perfectly mimicked.

It was a modern take on the original movie, but all the same elements were there. The killers still had the same raw punk edge to them, and there was one element I remember distinctly. It the original film the killers shared a sense of vanity that was STRIKING. For example- any time one of the three were hurt, there was an over reaction of ANGER. This is seen in the movie remake with the female killer getting SO angry when she is burned with a car lighter. She gets so mad that it will leave a scar forever, even though she is killing people she does not care- all she cares about is herself. This character in the original gets angry when she is struck with a rock for the same reason- she will have a scar. What I find amazing is that these characters have a trait that could go unnoticed to the movie watcher, yet is a discrete link to the personality of the character. It is smart. It is bold. It is real.

The remake was just as good in my opinion, however I was MUCH more disturbed by the rape scene than I was in the original. It was long. It was graphic. It was scary. I tried really hard not to fast forward through it because it was so graphic and long. It was horrifying in the original as well, however it was taken to a new level in the remake.

The gore was B+ at most, and I will say there is one thing that is STILL confusing me about this film- the ending. I wont spoil it with names and characters but once you have seen it you will know what I am saying- WHY THE FUCKING MICROWAVE. It was cooL- explosion and all- but it was the MOST out of place weird thing in the film.

I would say for the most part, AMAZING work. You stuck with the story but did not ruin it with too much modern bull shit. It was timeless setting and a timeless story- Remember one thing... NEVER let people stay at your house, NEVER go into a stranger's motel room for drugs and NEVER give up trying- its all you got left sometimes.

(Photos from cinemachine.blogspot.com and collider.com)

See both original and remake to compare on DVD and Blueray

Friday the 13th.. PART 12!!!!

Okay, so a weekend ago i saw Friday the 13th.. the NEW REMAKE. A remake of a classic movie? How unique!! Anyways, yea.. I have good news for the masses.. it honestly ain't that bad.

The movie takes place in a.. semi-separate dimension.. between the first film and the 2nd and 3rd. If your not familiar with the story-line.. its about a child that was ignored by camp councilors and left to drown. Years later he comes back as a machete wielding, hockey mask wearing, super-mutant-of-a-man and slays anything and everything that enjoys premarital sex, drugs, and an overall good time. I'm pretty sure its roots are from classic horror story told at camps around the world.

Welp, this time around the infamous Camp Crystal Lake is a secret pot haven that college kids flock to in order to get free weed. The back-story is still there.. but, one thing i noticed is the story lacked an origin story for Jason (Other than the whole drowning thing. You never get why he's alive.. or if he's a ghost or something different), which i am totally fine with, but it does leave a gaping hole at the beginning of the film. I honestly don't want to ruin anything so i'll stop with the synopsis and get to the reviewing.

Now when i saw the original trailer.. i was a little hesitant. Seeing Michael Bay's name attached to the project honestly was a deterrent for me. Anything this guy has produced in the last decade has been garbage, or borderline garbage (Unborn, Transformers, TCM remakes, The Hitcher, etc. ). SO, my expectations for this film was set pretty damn low.

The opening 30 minutes were pretty epic.. and i am surprised horror movies haven't utilized the same setup.. or maybe they have and i haven't seen them. Honestly, its ingenious. All the actors held up pretty well and there were some GORGEOUS titties in this film. At one point, whilst fuckin a chick, a guy is constantly complementing her breasts ("Your nipple placement is amazing!") and honestly, all the guys in the audience are thinking the same thing. The kills are subtle nods to the films of the past and are semi-creative and well done. There isn't much gore in the film, which i am also fine with. I think some films can take gore to an extreme.. to a point where it actually works against the film. The pacing is decent.. your always waiting for Jason to appear and kill something, but near the end it drags slightly. People who go to see this movie and expect to witness horror glory.. something brand new and mind blowing are going to be disappointed. This is the 12th addition to this particular franchise.. so its hard to be original. Honestly, the film doesn't take itself to seriously.. the dialogue is laughable at times, even some of the deaths.. but i think thats what they were going for. Its just a good time. Again, it reminds me of the old Slasher genre.. where the audience bounces between rooting for the characters and rooting for the monster.

Now the gripes. Jason has become a mystical ninja-like being that can teleport and stab things through objects with uncanny precision. At one point in the film Jason kills a man outside near a house.. the camera pans to the window where everyone's watching/listening to the screams, then pans above the window.. and Jason is standing on the roof. Really? He's this giant ogre-like man. I don't think he runs once in the film.. he just appears! Again, this brings me to wonder if he was meant to be a ghost of sorts.. but.. he takes damage like a regular human. Anyways, if you can deal with that.. you can enjoy the movie more. Also, a lot of the creepy old people that appeared in the in TCM remake appear in this one! That pissed me off a little and honestly took me out of the whole atmosphere of the film. Shouldn't those folks be in some dusty Texas town? Why are they near a lush camp suddenly? Boooooo.

Overall its a campy good time. Have a drink or two prior to seeing the movie.. feel free to yell at the screen and say "What the fuck!?" a few times. It doesn't totally make sense.. but its a fun time! A decent afternoon for $8.

Overall Rating: B

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